The 213 things Team 7 is no longer allowed to do
by HerdingDog1
Summary: The (short) stories behind the 213 things that Team 7 is no longer allowed to do. Based on Skippy's list.
1. Chapter 1: Rule 170

AN: Heya! This idea came to me after reading a similar concept by another author, whose work unfortunately seems to have been curtailed. It's an adaptation of Skippy's list, set in the Naruto universe, comprising of short on-shots exploring the story that created the rules in the first place.

I have no idea if I will be able to finish the entire list; historically I've not been that good at finishing ideas. Feel free to google Skippy's list and imagine your own situations that would explain those rules.

Let's get this thing started!

* * *

"Heeeeey, Kakashi-senseeeeiiiii, I'm bored. How long do we have to just sit here?" Naruto complained.

"Naruto, this is a border guard training mission" came the admonishment from Kakashi. "We have to prevent team 10 from passing through this area. But in order to simulate the uneventful nature of guard duty, team 10 has two whole weeks in which they can do whatever they want to achieve their objective."

"But that is Shikamaru leading the team 10! He won't do any probing attacks, he'd just think them too troublesome. We've set up our perimeter traps 6 days ago, and none have been tripped the entire time! I'm bored out of my mind here!"

A disapproving glare from his two team mates came his way, but Naruto steadfastly ignored them. He knew they felt the same boredom. Sasuke's usual grunts gained a more pronounced, annoyed undertone, and Sakura had catalogued their supplies three times just today. Kakashi put down his ever present Icha Icha, a convenient cure for his boredom at least, and let out an annoyed sigh. "If you want to alleviate some boredom, go do another round or something."

"Humpf… fine. I'll be back in 10 minutes" And with that, Naruto disappeared from the clearing where they had made camp.

* * *

Not far outside of camp, Naruto was jumping through the trees when his nose picked suddenly caught a scent.

"Wheat, sugar, vanilla and… chocolate? What the..."

Following his nose, it took almost no time for Naruto to find a clearing with a tree stump in the middle. On the tree stump laid plate with what appeared to be freshly baked cookies, and a note. Not being (as bog of an) idiot as his teammates thought, he silently made a shadow clone and sent it to check it out.

The shadow clone approached the tree stump with no problem. It picked up the plate and the note, read it, then turned around and jumped back up the tree to the original.

"Hey boss, check this out!" the clone exclaimed as it handed Naruto the note.

"Come to the dark side!

We have Cookies!

-Shikamaru" the note read

An evil grin spread across Naruto's face.

* * *

A minute later, back at camp, the rest of Team 7 was still looking out into the forest bored out of their minds. Or most of them at least, Kakashi seemed transfixed on his Icha Icha and occasionally let out a perverted giggle.

Suddenly, they were alerted by a rustling sound and jumped out of the way as a hail of kunai rained down on their clearing. Sakura was busy dodging them all, while Kakashi and Sasuke dodged most and intercepted the rest, only to have the intercepted kunai disappear in a puff of smoke.

"Shadow clone kunai? And that many of them?" Sasuke muttered, before being broken from his contemplations. Before him stood a small army of Naruto, each holding a plate of cookies, and half of them were cackling away merrily. He and all of his clones now sported a red band tied around right arm instead of the blue that his team and previously he himself wore.

"NARUTO!" Came the explosive reaction from Sakura. "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

"What does it look like Sakura-chan?" he replied. "I've joined the dark side! There are most excellent cookies!"

Kakashi could only hold his hand up his forehead and shake his head.

* * *

Unnoticed in the commotion, team 10 was fast tracking it past team 7, completing the mission.

"Dang Shikamaru", Ino muttered. "It's scary how well you can read people sometimes. I'd never have thought that would work."

Shikamaru just responded with a slight grin.

It would be the first and last time that the Opposing Force in a border guard training mission would win using only a month's supply of baking goods.

* * *

**Rule #170. Not allowed to "defect" to OPFOR during training missions.**


	2. Chapter 2: Rule 189

AN: These stories are not in any chronological order, neither by the chapter number or rule number. I just write them as I think of them, and the rule numbers correspond to their counter part on Skippy's list.

* * *

Team 8 was walking back from their training accompanied by their Sensei Kurenai, when they came upon a bickering Team 7.

"NARUTO! Stop being gross and put that away!"

"What's wrong Sakura? Think I have finally found something the great Uchiha can't take?"

"NO! But that's just… THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!"

"C'mon Temme! I dare you to stick it in your mouth!"

"Ew, no! It's pulsing!"

"Urgh…"

"Better do it now, Temme! It's only going to get stickier! Better get it over with before you have to lick it all off"

"Oi! Naruto! What are you guys doing?" Kiba called out as soon as Team 8 had reached Team 7.

Team 7 collectively turned to team 8 to see a confused Kiba, furiously blushing Hinata, slightly blushing Kurenai and intrigued Shino (going off of the single raised eyebrow visible above his sunglasses).

"Oh hey guys! I've finally found something Sasuke-temme can't do! I dared him to eat this and he won't!" Naruto answered, holding out a big white grub with both hands.

Hinata, who had been blushing only moments ago, was now looking decidedly pale. Kushina and Kiba showed matching faces of disgust, and Shino's second eyebrow had now joined the first, visible above his sunglasses.

"And I'm telling you Naruto, that doesn't mean anything!" Sakura responded," No one would eat that. Watch! Hey Kiba, dare you to eat that grub."

"Ew, no, that thing smells like piss!"

"See Naruto!" Sakura cried triumphantly. "How about you Hina… ta…"

But Hinata was already passed out bone white, held up under the arms by Kurenai glaring disapprovingly at the grub in Naruto's hands.

"That's another no. Do I even have to ask Shino?"

And before Kurenai could process that sentence and cry out to stop it, Shino had darted forward, grabbed the grub from Naruto's hands, and instantly swallowed it whole.

Team 7, joined by Kiba, stared at Shino with combined looks of disgust, horror, and a certain amount of reluctant respect, while Kurenai could feel a headache forming.

* * *

**Rule #189: Do not dare an Aburame to eat bugs. They will always do it.**


End file.
